like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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