"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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