So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
