I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
