Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
