my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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