"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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