Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
