So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
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im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
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I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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