and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
