I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
