We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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