so explain again why im purple
no
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
How naked do you want me to be?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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