porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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