My first STD was from a foam party
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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