Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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