I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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