OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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