Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
