why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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