Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
