and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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