i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
