Me too!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
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We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
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Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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