How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
