That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
