I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
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just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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