My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize