So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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