i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
