Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
