good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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