Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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