ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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