I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
