i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
