Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
