My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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