Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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