I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
