My cat gives me a boner
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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