shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
