I am puke
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
