I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
