Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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