We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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