let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
handjob tips. give me some.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
