I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize