I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Randomize
