I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
