I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
