Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
