...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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