I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
