Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
