K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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