"it" just moved
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
