we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize