Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
