At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
