I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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