I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
