I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
